After nearly three weeks working at a telethon, I now see myself as a bit of an expert in this particular area so I decided to create the Kenny guide to surviving a telethon.
1) Have a nap before your shift.
2) Wake up ten minutes before your shift, freak out and question what made you sign up for this.
3) Speed walk to the telethon centre to some sick choons, hating life more and more with each step you take.
4) Waste 15- 20 minutes 'making tea' and eating biscuits with your fellow colleagues, taking comfort in the fact that you have each other in facing this ordeal.
5) Spend five minutes walking to your desk that is less than ten feet away when your boss eventually tells you to start working.
6) Use a further 10-15 minutes to 'boot your laptop' and 'prepare' for your first call.
7) Ah, two voice mails in a row? You're really working hard! You deserve a tea/ biscuit break.
8) After spending more than half an hour talking to an alumnus that decides to make a small one-off donation, you've truly earned another 10/15 minutes for a 'break' and prep time.
9) Repeat steps 7 and 8 until the shift ends.
10) After the shift, head back to college for a compulsory moaning and complaining session with the rest of your colleagues about the shift and share weird moments that you had over the phone.
Disclaimer- Kenny is not liable if any of these steps get you fired.
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